The Need to Get Away

I consider myself very blessed that I am not impressed by people who go to retreats in the hope to connecting with their body, mind and soul, in a place surrounded by the same birds who flock there together.

Ashram is it.  According to the World English Dictionary, it is a noun defined as:

1. a religious retreat or community where a Hindu holy man lives
2. a house that provides accommodation for destitute people

To put it into the new-age context, it is an escapade to dislodge our social connections and to learn to relate with a spiritual guru who could possibly help us to untangle the issues of life.  It is like visiting a shrink and going through the clinical session for 30 minutes on a one-to-one basis.  The ashram, it is a sanctuary of exchange with strangers of different world views including sharing community living and housekeeping chores.

The western way of mental healing has evolved from sitting on a two piece of designer couch placed at a calculated distance from each other, to flying across the globe and sitting on the floor with people at close proximity.  All this for the purpose of attaining spiritual balance through the practice of yoga and meditation.

It bewilders me that that after all human beings still prefer life in a structured manner. Humans lack discipline and prefer to be regimented. Hence it is easier to conform to societal habits and changes than to live by our own freedom from discipline.  Within the compound of an ashram, there is an allocated time for all daily activities.  The time to eat is fixed! The food menu is fixed! The time to sleep is fixed!  The time to wake up is fixed!  The time to practice yoga and mediation is fixed!  The time to do housekeeping chores is fixed!  Perhaps it is a nourishing feeling to be a temporary prisoner in an ashram than to be a short or long-term prisoner behind vertical steel bars.

I know of someone who went to such an ashram to seek peace and quietness of the mind. The need was so intense that propelled the trip to India in a hope to reclaim life.  I do not know about the fruitfulness of the trip but can only assume that feeling peaceful, uncluttered, and centered lasted perhaps for a while.  This is evident to see from the state my friend is in today.  There is no transformation and transcendence of the mind.

Another friend, is going to a retreat in India. The purpose is to get away from the present environment, and to practice yoga and to become a certified yoga teacher.  Hence, it is about life´s sustenance.  I am not sure if the reason is practical but the underlying issue is still the same - seeking a fulfilling life.  In other words, this friend is not content with the present state.

As I know of one living example who came back without transformation, I asked these questions: Is a stay in an ashram an instant spiritual gratification that falls under the same category of acquiring gadgets?  What is the state of the mind after the stay?  Is the mind in control or easily manipulated?  How many ashrams does one need to go to find contentment?

For one thing that I know, I am not envious of such an escape. I do not have the urge to 'get away' - for ultimately, no matter where one goes, the mind is always with us; and yet we are always alone!

My Fellow Traveler

Recently I was asked to hold the hands of a fellow traveler and help transcend an argumentative mind.  The mind´s dialogues do not have moderators to tell you when to stop. It is full of open ended questions.  The capability of the mind to extrapolate a meaningful future, using past characters and situations, is a self conviction to enter into a state of irrevocable depression.

The tool of the mind is totally misunderstood and deeply abused. The logical indulgence is in the comfort of negativity, focusing on the deemed reality of what we could have if we had done this or that. In clearer perspective, it is essentially an illusion (phantasm) built on the "IFS".

The mind knows the process of thoughts and its vicious cycle of endless sufferings.  The mind knows it is possessing the body.  The mind knows the experience is not pleasant.  The minds knows the consequences of the preoccupation of mindless thoughts.

My fellow traveler has a one-sided mind and refuses to activate the other side.  My fellow traveler is bent on focusing on the concept of a fulfilled life based on achievements.  The concept of happiness is a pinch and an extract from various external endorsements of approval.  The concept of wisdom is a byproduct of knowledge.  The route towards fulfillment is to have a progressive career, a premium pay package, a secure home, a perfect partner, smart descendants, and happily living ever after.

Today, my fellow traveler does not have the expectations fulfilled.  My fellow traveler has a mind equivalent to a rapid roller coaster. My fellow traveler goes through life acquiring many theories and hoping to apply them.  The failure to apply a theory (which is highly probable) certifies that learning has failed and the intellect is consequently condemned.  The greater blow is of course, to the ego.

The debate within the mind becomes a viral phenomenon. The crucial urge to want an optimal or rather perfect solution bars the mind to construct affirmative thoughts necessary to live each and every single moment. It constricts the heart to feel and appreciate. The heart is beating with tension instead of gratitude.  The beginning of living life moment by moment is truly gratitude.  Gratitude is simply to be thankful to ALL that is presented to us and be contented with what we have. It is to appreciate and be immersed in whatever the moment brings.  It accepts ALL and seizes life with openness.

I recalled how my journey started when I began to feel constant frustrations walloping my thoughts daily.  When I was not sleeping, I was happy to be miserable.  When I was not sleeping, I was happy to be self-destructive.  When I was not sleeping, I was happy to tyrannize.  I was only good when I was asleep!

My fellow traveler reminds me of where I came from. I was a conventional seeker who would feel ebullient erratically. I felt hallow inside, something was just not right even though everything seemed to be in the right place externally.  The silent battle continued for a considerable length of time and infiltrated into my surroundings.  I became bitter and resentful for no reason other than that I disliked myself.  I shut down and shut up.

There was no love, let alone joy, the fruit of love.

My fellow traveler has a lot of intellect but no love for self, no love for life, people and things.  My fellow traveler has it all but is not awakened to feel what existence has bestowed.  My fellow traveler thinks that "deserving better" is the aim in life.  I am very grateful to my fellow traveler because it is only by holding someone else´s hands do I realize where I was before and how much I have learned and grown.

All I wanted then was to be a better person, and now I am.  I appreciate my own simplicity and my untarnished mind.  I am so thankful that I could drop all my baggage and start life anew just by a decision.  I did not fall into a state of mind activities like my fellow traveler.

This piece of wisdom, if well consumed and internalized, can be the only salvation: Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you. - Lao Tzu