Alive

Regret as a noun means "sadness associated with some wrong done or some disappointment."  As a verb it means "feeling sad about the loss or absence of."  A few years ago I came across this adage "I would rather regret the things that I have done than the things that I have not." 

It penetrated my thoughts and feelings in a way that I did my own bloodwork to evaluate whether I was flowing or drifting away from the essence of life.  All I knew was that I did not want to live my life to realize during an "aha" moment that I was living like an ignorant farmer who did not make use of any opportunity to harness the crops to let them bloom.  

Life is to be lived in the present tense because it is from this very basis that life starts. Just like any word or sentence, it has neither meaning nor value until an experience occurs. It is easy to take life for granted because it is given to us without any effort on our part.  

I realize that the only experience that cannot be taken away from me is to live now in its entirety.  I acknowledge that I have always been where my mind wanted me to be.  I was constantly making use of  present stuations to extrapolate into scenerios that might or might not take place in the future. It worsened my state of being because I lost myself there and never returned to where I was!  The truth then crystalized.  I prefered to live in the future constructed by my mind than to live in the reality which entails challenging the real occurrences. 

I feel I am living now.  I am enjoying the living process instead of simply executing  tasks and responsibilities unmindfully.  I am savoring every moment to learn to know myself.  I sift the gravestones to recreate my path.  I learn to drop the small stuff and let it be swept away like fallen leaves.  

I am constantly reminding myself to live mindfully and to be an experiement in life's greatest mystery.