Trapped

I realized that I am systemically trapped in my unawareness, and have inflicted frustrations upon myself. The receptionist at the optical counter categorized me as one of their eye patients which resulted in an hour's wait to pick up my prescription glasses. The employees of a gas station admitted to my face without any sense of remorse, that they failed to put up a notice of an inoperable air vending machine. I wasted my dollar and had to put back the valve caps composedly. 

This is one of the few chores that I dread. My tendency is to ensure that every task is completed successfully within the time allotted. I dislike inefficiency. I had to drive to the next vending machine where I was told there is a free service in an auto-care center where I need not even come out of my car! This turned out to be a silver lining. Lately these frustrations helped me realize my intolerant of inefficiency. This rocks my center. I have to change if I don't want to be the sucker that is feeling the one-sided hurt.

Lao Tzu put it so well: Before healing others, heal yourself. So I have to let people be and not cling to my past experiences. Just like a boat that has done its job carrying me ashore, I should abandon it and continue walking my path.

Men and Women

I was obsessed with this song "The Man" after watching a K-drama and listened to an one-hour long loop of the same song everyday possibly for a month. The main reason is he is my favorite actor and sings well. It led me to study the lyrics. Two words struck me - "beggarly love." Man is a beggar in the name of love.  

I returned to my reading and found this excerpt: Ordinarily there are men and women, but not human beings. To become a human being means to become a process, to become an inquiry, to become a passion for the impossible... a seeker, a seeker of truth. 

I enjoy photojournalism because it digs into the deeper issues depicted in the photos. For example, I read about the reckless disposal of Covid-19 biomedical waste that ended in the landfill which feeds impoverished families. I see helplessness and hopelessness in the people and I smell trash. That reminds me of a city landfill that I visited and the stench from a very far distance was acrid. Just imagine these people in close proximity everyday!

   

Now, this begs the question: are there more men and women than human beings in this pandemic era now? Indeed, men and women are those that defy processes, deny truth, and harvest lies that echo the ethos of We and You. If men and women respect processes for long term recovery, the futile debate of returning life to normal would not exist. Just follow the process and the result will speak for itself as we have seen in other countries. If biomedical waste was disposed as hazardous waste and incinerated, the impoverished families could continue their not so healthy livelihood. 

Human beings would see that we are interconnected and are therefore cognizant of the consequences of our actions. There is no We and You. There is Us and Unity. Rise as human beings but fall as men and women. I realize that to be a human being has to be earned by our actions.

Totality

Earlier in my journey I was reminded to see the totality and not to focus on the fragments. A fragmented mind is the curtain blocking the light at the end of the tunnel. I applied this principle in my workplace when I had to deal with cascading operational issues.

In this universal pandemic season, I reflected upon the totality of life. We see different behavioral coping mechanisms that people use to deal with the fatigue of too much time spent indoors. The reopening of beaches was life's essential and entitled human right. We see compliance and defiance attitudes toward a simple protective covering - face mask. Inconveniences are excruciating pain and sufferings. 

This totality principle is even more meaningful today. The physical depravity will pass once commercial activities resume to operable state or once a vaccine is found. Technology lets us satisfy our needs and desires through online products acquisition. We defer our physical contact but increase our virtual communication. We appreciate our cooking and treasure our dining out experience.

This pandemic is the fragment that catches our human life. When a beggar or emperor dies, their total is the same. Is it time to look at life in totality? 

Contentment

Soon it will be 10 years since I started this blog. Although updating it consistently has not been my greatest strength, I persisted and did not give it up. The journey during these 10 years has been a concoction of  bittersweet experiences from my Ph. D pursuit to assimilating to academia. These past 10 years have been pivotal comparing to the preceding 13 years. Looking back, I can confidently say that it is the best decade that marked the beginning of learning about my SELF and life.

I did not realize that I was not living until I experience what living means. I left my comfort zone not knowing that I was actually escaping. The context changed but the content was the same. I was the corrosive content that was burning inside. I could be in the Himalayas but would see the mountains as obstruction instead of peace and tranquility. 

The Himalayas within me is calling me to appreciate the sights of the colorful birds and yellow butterflies foraging the foliage along the riverside walking trail. Before, the chirping of the birds was noise because I was unconscious and not accepting their nature.The silver lining of minimal human contact in this "nature always wins" era is I am entering into the sensuous existence to feel the Whole that has always been there.   

 

A Little Too Late

The advent of technology has changed our lives in so many ways. Medical advancement has prolonged and saved lives. Diseases such as tuberculosis, measles, small pox that were synonymous with death are contained because of medical advancement. So is human population. Such an irony now that human lives are diminishing on an accelerated pace because medical emergency is overwhelmed and medical urgency has been deliberately slowed down.

The fragility of life is even more frightening now. I thought I was well stocked with my favorite delights in my freezer to find out the defrost timer is semi-working as ice is forming underneath. The freezer is the most valuable possession at home right now and if it breaks down, that will be my food pandemic. I felt empty after knowing it. Not sure to fill that emptiness with a cry or a laugh. Why did I drive so many hours to create this stockpile when these possessions will rot anytime. I do not know when there will be a power outage, when will the defrost timer give up its life, and if it could be repaired, when will the repairman attend to it during this weird time? Why did I not think of that before hoarding? All these questions are beckoning me a little too late!

Greed deters all these questions from surfacing in my quest to satisfy my desires. I have unconsciously created a new baggage to carry on my shoulders. The message to me is to be content with what is already there and be thankful to have the grocery stores nearby. Millions are hungry. A little too late in this realization but better late than never!

Strangers Unite

In the wake of this pandemic, we reached out to our next-door neighbors to exchange contact numbers to look after each other's back. We have been neighbors by SIGHT for 4 long years. Our communication did not go beyond numerous eye contacts and smiles whenever we met each other while driving out of our garage. So near and yet so far. Separated by walls and distanced by silence.

Once a upon a time, we used to share luxury items such as a phone line, a television, a refrigerator. There wasn't my space, your space. Our space was communal. We were pockets of communes. We waited eagerly for the next episode of sitcom or soap opera. We laughed and cried together. We were socially compassionate.

We are in the state of asphyxia. The most potent carrier of any disease is the air that we need to be alive. A misstep by any self-serving individuals will put this existential space at the verge of human fatalities. We are all canaries in the coalmine. We must consciously relearn the language of the universe. We need to rise to the level of sharing and caring. Our young neighbor knocked on our door to check if he could mow our lawn since he was already on the job. This was momentous. This was graciousness.

Choices

Pandemic...Delusion or Reality? Humans are truly unique creatures. In the face of this worldwide adversity threatening lives and supplies, some still refuse to SEE. Exacerbating this blindness is the magnification of untruth in the most contentious manner that some really think that everything is fine. Everyday behaviors should continue. This is just a passing flu and will find another host in no time! It is so infuriating to listen to this puerile tirade of utter flimflam.

While the dire effects of this pandemic hit straight to the heart of conscientious folks who step up to contribute to their community in every possible way. Doubling up their efforts to heightened creativity of making fabric masks for the frontline people whose own life is at stake. Bounded by duty and dedication to public service, they are working relentlessly. Good samaritans are illuminating what humanity ought to be; sharing and caring and leaning on one another regardless of race, religion, ethnicity. demographic, geography, country, education etc. 

Our journey on mother earth has consistently been showing us to live meaningfully. At best, if we cannot help, don't create more problems. Stay indoors and count our blessings!

Hello iSpring

Nature stays true to its course. Winter ebbs away. Spring beckons with the lushness foliage. Birds echo in their wilderness and getting ready to migrate to their spring homes. People start spring cleaning to welcome the much anticipated summer. Then, comes fall...and winter...and spring again.

The first spring of a new decade begins with a reckoning of inner and outer chaos. A costly reminder of systemic greed that can destroy humankind if we continue sleeping and abusing any living organisms on earth. The reality has hit upon us experiencing the different facets of humanity. We are witnessing conscientiousness and devotion of citizens crying for equipment and fighting against time to save lives. At the same time, some of us are becoming practitioners of patience tolerating recalcitrant human-pests foraging for nectar to feed their ego in this corrosive catastrophe.

This spring calls for deep learning to power our inner growth. It calls for contemplation that all living organisms have a sacred space on earth. Regardless if they have four legs, two legs or no legs, we must value life and let live to the best we can. The taken for granted human contact is now a potential carrier that would exacerbate the virus spread. Nobody knows when socialization will become harmless again. It is going to be a long and painful journey of getting there. The silver lining is we have excess time to reconnect with ourselves. Reading nourishes the mind. Cooking spurs creativity. Exercising houses the body. Watching perfects our world...Hello iSpring!