Relating

Meeting new people and being comfortable with them is a skill which I am slowly and surely developing. These past seven years have forced me to come out of my withdrawn self and to meet and engage individuals from three continents. Relating with individuals is so different in France from America, even more different in China and Borneo! I have to adjust according to the local cultural values and priorities, the status of the individual, the context in which we were relating, the expectations both parties had and most of all the need to make the other comfortable.

As a student, I found relating to peers very challenging as most were much younger and as such had a completely different approach to life than I did. As a mother, I have to host a series of cognitive disparities in our random discussion topics about friends, fashion, beauty, education, technology etc. with a malleable teenager.

Endurance is the breath to harmonize the conversations before remorseful eruptions would occur. Patience is the antidote to the mind that this phase is ephemeral and like everything else, this too will pass. Communing with my small coterie of intimate friends is heartily virtual. Life has brought us to different places and assigned us different responsibilities and priorities but we have not lost our common values of caring and sharing. Indeed, it is the connection of the hearts rather than a case of logorrhea.  

Relating with people is actually a purposeful affair. It requires careful articulation. Being sensitive to the other/s is particularly necessary to relate meaningfully. After all, time is a scarce resource. I am learning to use it wisely. Be it a thought or a talk.

Being Normal

My greatest challenge is to be normal in a social setting. Most of the times I am just quiet. I am not a storyteller but am slowly changing. I realized many many years ago the importance of storytelling. Relating with people is about meaningful conversations. It hurt deeply when one accused me of not being able to converse and concluded that I would not be able to teach! It irked me that they felt posited to judge me.

It puzzled me as to how happy I become when listening to other people's stories. But it did not help in my growth of relating with other people. Stories keep conversations going. Stories help to elucidate who you are to people. Stories enhance inter-personal exchange of experiences. Traveling cultivates storytelling skills. It is an avenue whereby you meet strangers with no strings attached and will start you telling them your stories!

I resolve to master the art of communicating effectively while keeping intact my true self without over indulgence in conversations.  I know that I am fully capable of conveying, expressing, directing, explaining and engaging the many that come to me and emerge the storyteller in me. I have much to share!

Trusting Oneself

A new day has dawned for me. Four years of academic rigor and living out of a suitcase in 3 continents: America, Europe and Asia, I have finally completed my terminal degree and landed my dream job of teaching in a small university in a rural part of the country. The journey has been both trans-formative and challenging.

I learned to trust myself and with it the Universe. Having to perform tasks I had no idea would be required was at times mind boggling. There is so much about writing a doctoral dissertation. I had to learn from scratch. Stayed locked in for weeks reading literature written by those that came before me was daunting.

Then came the need to move from France to China to complete  a field research and required meeting industry professionals to seek their support in identifying gatekeepers and organizations that were to become 6 case studies. Having completed all this in record breaking 9 months, a huge blow was delivered when the French jury found my work too applied for their taste! They did not bother to note that this had to be the approach as my research was funded by the European Commission via the Marie Curie Foundation which explicitly required me to investigate European companies entering China's environmental protection sector.

My trust in the Universe paid dividends when I was offered a new full scholarship to complete my degree at an Australian university! As if this was not challenging enough, my efforts at securing a full time teaching position in the town I now call home and having recused myself from other offers some distance away, required even more trust. I can now feel the blessings of the Universe and remain grateful for all the help, guidance, support and love I have received from the many that were sent to lift and see me to the shore.