We feel secure because our future is determined by the net future value of our current possessions. We feel secure because when we grow old, our family is there to take care of us and send us home. We feel secure because when we go home, there is enough left to take care of our remaining family.
I have been thinking about me, family, and security. How do I think? How do I act? How do I feel? What do I do? Who are in my plans? Who am I answerable to? How do I decide? What motivate me? Who cause me misery and pain? Who give me happiness? Who stop me from my dreams? What are my fears? What make me insecure?
As a matter of fact, looking back, I have always been thinking and acting alone intuitively. Some lessons were painful because time was wasted and growth stifled. Caused pain to loved ones for sure, but the consequences of failure and pain were mine alone. Sitting with pain without trying to fix it, is a mind challenging affair and can be an emotional nuisance. Hiding and avoiding is a preferred choice.
Having said that, at least I have experienced the realization that courage is not the absence of fear of failure and pain. Courage is the freedom to live the good and bad experiences and move on. Courage is not hinged on the family posture. Fear is. Honestly, what is fear? Fear is a social hypothesis of a calculated outcome based on perceptions and past experiences. In reality, we as human beings, hypothesize a great deal but yet to reach meaningful findings. Just because we do not act!
To answer my self-probing questions, truly, I am my own unique package of dreams, happiness, sadness, misery, security, motivation, fear, and pain. Only when I am securely fastened within, no other tangibles can be a threat to me. No one else is accountable for my own package of being. I am. Not family, not career, not my possessions. I can decide either to nest in the security of the thick clouds or be free to ride on the rainbow of colors into the unknown.
"If you don't go after what you want, you'll never have it. If you don't ask, the answer is always no. If you don't step forward, you're always in the same place." - Nora Roberts
