Changing Selfishly

Many years ago, I turned down a job offer because I chose to cling to my old job and was asked by the prospective employer "are you afraid of change?" I chortled about his comment and did not delve much into it. I know of one, who is my old me. Had the opportunity but chose to remain stuck.

Three major changes have occurred in my life. The first change was based on naivety. It was built upon a hope that the pasture is always greener the other side. Over the years, my hope did not become a verdure. The second change came when I realized that if I continued to live by the conventional and traditional societal expectations, my growth would be stalled. The third change was pivotal because it was necessary for the sake of another human being.

In the days when life was permeated with anguish and dissatisfaction, a lot was at stake if I chose selfishly. Not only that, I did not see myself embracing the consequences and having the courage to move forward. A new paint in my life would have the context of scariness and possibly followed by a self-inflicted uncertainty. The economics of change were not to my benefit and would be a demise for others. I preferred to drink vapid tea.

Truly, who is responsible for my happiness? Or rather who is responsible for my life? I was struck with these questions with a convergent answer that came many years later. I am responsible. I started to view "selfish" and "change" constructively. I need to have first before I can give. I need to have love first before I can love. I need to be happy first before I can make others happy. I did everything opposite. I began to reverse my course of happiness and work to fill my emptiness

Changes are hidden opportunities that might not surface unless the first step forward is taken. What took me so long to embrace change? What were inhibiting me from change? It was me of course and my lack of trust that the Universe is bigger than my own world. If I take the first step, the Universe will lead the way.

Change is now welcome to me. I accept change. I have changed my life: my name, my place of abode, my profession, my friends, my attitude, my persona, my dressing, my mind, my prejudices, my attachments, my passions and compassions. I am no more the same!