Drop the Veil and See with Clarity

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Trick or Treat

Dining alone is a matter of perspective and context. I have experienced this in Shanghai where it is a norm to dine alone.  The seating arrangement caters for single diners.  The servers welcome their patrons wholeheartedly with impartiality. 

Single diners have no time to be self-conscious and dwell on the loneliness of eating in a restaurant crowded with people and laughter.  Their goal is to eat and leave happily without having to worry of the next chore of cleaning up the dishes.

It is not a big deal to eat alone at all, because everyone does it.  Everyone is very accommodating. Sharing a table with strangers is just as natural as the fallen leaves from the trees. No one notices and no one makes an issue out of it.  Peace and harmony permeate.

Last night, I dined alone in an Italian restaurant.  I was the only single diner in a fine restaurant with 80 seats. As I walked in, my mind had already tricked me to ask so timidly and condescendingly, if there was a table for one. To make it worse, I added that I would just eat and go.

In introspect, I was behaving as if I was coming to a place to ask for free food when the reality was, I was simply giving myself a treat. I just had had to portray in my mind, my single intrusion and self-invitation to the restaurant although the usher was more than welcoming and walked me to my table and passing by many seated tables with dignity.

All the servers were very nice and friendly to me.  Each of them came and asked me, if I liked my food, if I needed anything else to complement my food. My server made sure that I was comfortable sitting in a cozy corner with a bird's eye view of all diners. 

She brought me more than enough Parmesan cheese for 10 servings of pasta.  She checked if I would like coffee or dessert.  All in all, she ensured that I had a delightful dining experience of which I did!

The difference between dining alone in Shanghai and where I am now is the  the emergence of one's self-consciousness when one is not in the mainstream of society. The norm dictates the comfort zone and stimulates the mind into thoughts of negativity and bewilderment. The mind is too weak to accept changes. 

My experience proved my mind otherwise.  I fitted just like everyone else in the room.  I enjoyed my superb dinner in my own solace in a nice ambiance.  My mind stayed calm because the reality of dining alone was not as fearful as the mind had thought to be. 

And above all else, the mind is happy as I can order whatever I fancy without any judgement or approval and only have to pay for one person!

Monday, September 19, 2011

So?

The teenager was trying to balance his head and limbs and struggling to make sure that his school bag did not fall off his shoulder.  He walked his zigzag course toward the bus-stop.  

At that moment, I felt conscience-stricken.  My physical challenges are lesser or none as compared to this young boy.  I decide when I want to walk, run or swim.  I decide how and when I want to build up my physical fitness.  I have all the time in the world to do it. There is no barrier other than my own laziness.

I started to make a mental list of what I have.  Things that I have not given them a second look, or rather felt that they were just there, just there for my disposal. My home, it is just there.  My job, it is just there.  My neighborhood conveniences, they are just there. 

It scares me to the very core to feel the depth of my ingratitude.  I fall short of appreciation.  Absolutely true!  I took some moments to truly appreciate now, where I am, what I do, what I have, what my capabilities are...and the feelings are exhilarating.  I decided to make it a constant practice to feel me instead of to fill me. Also to stop the "so what" attitude which is a self-destrucive tool that cripples my ability to see and treasure life, the way it is.
 
If the teenage boy can walk tirelessly everyday, why should I be grieving when I have to drive a straight course with many stops at the traffic lights? All the more, I would have missed life´s many great lessons which happen at unusual places!